December 2, 1997

It's December. And, if it hasn't happened already, people are about to start blanketing everything in site with holiday decorations. There's nothing like a Mannheim Steamroller Christmas CD playing and a fragrant evergreen tree twinkling with lights and ornaments to get me into the holiday spirit. Disney and Downtown Orlando generally do a great job splashing their regions with holiday cheer in the form of lights and other decorations.

But a lot of the decorations around town make me want to stop offering seasons greetings. Some people string lights into a chain, not concerned at all that one strand blinks and the rest don't. Fake everythings from giant candy canes to plastic evergreen boughs dot the landscape. Plastic creatures and spray snow make the area into a plastic-coated winter pseudo-wonderland. Happy birthday, Jesus. Here's a bunch of gaudy crap we plastered our homes and businesses with to honor you.

The aesthetically unpleasant trend continues beyond the already sickeningly extended holiday season. A major discount chain just reorganized all of its stores, and brought in a giant, ugly logo, and hideous interior signage to match. Countless web pages use hideous color schemes like fluorescent blue writing on a black background (seemingly constructed by optometrists aspiring to increase their number of patients).

The 90's brought an influx of cool trends in design, but with that came an equal number of pseudo-designers, armed with a CD full of a million fonts and clip art images that somehow validated their creations. Everything from buildings to signs become either landmarks of design excellence or reminders of why we shouldn't let every person with the cash have a computer. The holiday season is even worse, because stores offer all sorts of decorations dirt cheap, giving virtually anyone the means to become Martha Stewart.

Im not suggesting that some elitist designers form the Aesthetic Police and parade around judging people's decorations. Nor should the government have to approve public displays or signs on buildings. People should just use common sense. Don't just hang decorations because you can. Think first.

I'll be looking for that to start right after our first snow.

--Andy Dehnart

Andy Dehnart I spend much of my time deconstructing my surroundings by writing. Other diversions: crossing the line, sucking down caffeine-laced carbonated beverages, pen fighting with the staff of the paper I edit, listening intensely to SHE 100.3, and analyzing my world with an overuse of superlatives. Also find me here. Other Articles I've Written