January 23, 1998

Come one, come all, to the Ringling Brothers and Barnum Bailey Circus. Step right up! Get yer' popcorn, cotton candy, light swords, plastic cups, posters, stuffed animals, pens, and now on video! Well shit! I could have enjoyed the circus in the privacy of my own home. And 'fast forwarded' through the clowns! I just really find it sad now the childhood mystique is gone and the times and attitudes have changed.

I remember when the thought of elephants, tigers, and highwire acts evoked wonder and fascination. Now I've kinda' grown up, and things have taken a very different turn for me as I watch what once was nothing short of a dream.

As you come in you can go down on the floor to see a few clowns doing different bits and a few llamas being touched by every sniffly-faced wide-eyed kid in sight. I thought, 'grrrreat - walking bacteria traps'. Then there was a poodle from what would be the dog show section of the circus; I'm sorry but it's just a DOG! Then you have Misccu, 'the world's smallest man', and the world's largest down in another ring signing autographs. Let me break this down - the clowns didn't scare me (as they should because that is where it starts), the llamas were gray and oily with cotton candy stuck all over their fur, and the "freakshow" element was just people that just happen to be visually different than what we're used to (and for this we long for their signature).

As we're approaching our seats, we hear someone blurt out, "WOW, all I would need to do is trip over the cable and sue the circus for a bundle!" The announcer begins by conveying that there will no longer be a tiger act because one tiger did what instinct tells it to and bit some trainer's head off. Nice...The show starts with the pace of a 14.4 modem with a short in it. After all the fancy angles the commercials use talking up "Greatest Show on Earth", the reality is a disappointment. It saddens me to see parents yelling at their kids for screaming in wonder at the shear size of the elephants. (Speaking now of the elephants, I just find it cruel treatment and keep hoping for a spot on "When Animals Attack 12". Needless to say, the Winter Park parents that got great seats also got a good huffin' of some good ole elephant fecal! YEEEHOOO, go Jumbo!) Maybe it's TV, society, digital conditioning, or just the sheer lust for instant gratification, but the high wire seemed to drag on like a sequel to Dances With Wolves. Come on, ride the bike and get off the rope!

After intermission, and everyone has purchased a glowing Conan' sword for their loved one, the show resumes. Definition of being ripped off - Misccu 'the world's smallest man' comes out does a lame little dance, stops, throws his hands in the air, and blows kisses. WHAT!? That's it!? Make him juggle, spin a plate, eat some fire...something. Just because you're small does not make you Tattoo. Then last but not least, the cannon. Now it's double barreled! My date turns to me and says, "I hope they shoot Misccu out that thing".

Maybe it's not the circus that's changed, but us. There is just too much visual stimulus in our culture nowadays, which - I believe - will kill the circus in the upcoming years. Put it on CD ROM or Nintendo 64, have killer clowns with toxic lamas, undead midgets and demons being shot out of cannons, and I think you have "The Greatest Game on Earth" at least for few months.

--Justice Mitchell

Justice Mitchell Loves: Art & Photography, Mom & Dad, Eileen, Friends, Music, and Film. Hates: Dan Leeds and his army of satanic, homophobic, undead girl scouts. Other Articles I've Written