October 10, 1997

Be on the lookout for the most Dangerous Band Florida has to offer: The Nature Kids. If you see them, act casual. Do not try to approach them - they are armed with lyrical prowess and slamming riffs. They have been known to lurk on the right side of the tracks at such haunts as Wills, Skinny's, The Go Lounge and The Copper Rocket. Be afraid! Keep a close watch on the following:

Troy: From Sanford, Florida.
Learned his trade from Old School Hip Hop, The Doors and Pink Floyd.
Weapon of Choice: The microphone (very 007).

Josh: Claims to be from New Smyrna Beach.
Trained by the ancient masters in the disciplines of Cheesy Older Metal and The Beastie Boys.
Weapon of Choice: Something called the guitar, hmmm ... evil.

Chris: Witnesses claim they saw him born in Vermont (known evidence proves the contrary).
Raised by a clan of thugs that followed Old School Megadeth, Metallica and Adam Ant.
Weapon of Choice: Two sticks. With ninja like precision, he beats on everything. Damn Evil!

Jeff: Reported once to be from New Jersey (our contact paid with his life).
Packing knowledge from anarchists such as Old Metal, Rap, Fugazi and Ska.
Weapon of Choice: A Bass. Never have I seen such carnage caused by the use of a fish before. It made me sick!

Scott: Did time all over. Former cell mate said he talked of Long Island a lot.
His record's longer than John Holmes: Old School Hip Hop, LL (early years), Tribe called Quest and Run DMC.
Weapon of Choice: A round thing with a ball on the end of it that he screams into (if they were the A-Team, he would be Murdock).

I have spent months trying to infiltrate this gang of dangerous musical mercenaries. Troy and Scott were first in a band called 'Piece by Piece' (the term Nature Kids comes from one of their lyrics). Since that time their musical criminal aspirations have grown. They are trying to create something really naughty: "Our CD is under construction right now. We're looking to get it out maybe in late October," says Troy. My thoughts ...this CD is some sorta' explosive device.

The clan first met in 1994 but has failed to pick a leader, so the tension is high. They have begun in the last year to "uncover the illuminati!" according to Troy - definitely not to be toyed with. When asked about their sound crimes (sampling), Scott reflects, "To use little clips of something from someone is our way of saying hey! We were really into them and are really into you now." Devil worshipers clearly!

"Skiff Dank, Bughead, Gargamel are where we pay our respect to," says Troy. These bands are also not to be approached with closed minds. There is truly honor among thieves as the Nature Kids lay down their plan for world domination. "We don't want that rock star role. I mean you could be awesome, but if you come across like a dick, you're still a dick," insists Scott. The Kids would like to thank Drew Garabo, Russ & Bo, 104.1, Big Shirley, all of their local brother bands and especially Chris' Mom (believed to be the mastermind behind the scenes). Without these people they believe they would not be what they are today - the most Dangerous Band Florida has to offer.

Justice Mitchell Loves: Art & Photography, Mom & Dad, Eileen, Friends, Music, and Film. Hates: Dan Leeds and his army of satanic, homophobic, undead girl scouts. Other Articles I've Written