Woody's Anything But Wild

June 5, 1998

So I had a little 'disagreement' with a co-worker the other day about Woody Allen. She said to me that she used to really like his movies but that she doesn't see them any more and misses identifying with them. I said, 'Why don't you see his movies anymore'? She said, 'Well, you know....'

The 'disagreement' came out of that - out of my belief that it's pretty pointless to take the artist's personal life into mind when considering the art he or she creates.

My co-worker didn't see things that way, and after some cross words, I had to leave. My final words to her before walking away: 'I don't care who Woody Allen is or what he does. As long as he keeps churning out great movies, I'm more than happy with him.'

About a week later, I heard that Wild Man Blues, a documentary by Academy Award-winner Barbara Kopple (who made the fantastic documentary American Dream a few years ago) that follows Woody Allen on his tour of Europe with his Dixieland jazz band, was showing locally, and I ran to the theater to see it.

Then it dawned upon me: I was full of shit. I did care about his life and who he was. I mean, come on! Would I really be in the theater to know more about Dixieland jazz? I've got some Louis Armstrong discs that would serve as a better education. I was there to see the man, the Woodman, if you will. I was there to see how close his characters and movies were to his real life. I was there to see what kind of person Soon-Yi was and why he left Mia Farrow for her. I was there for the truth about the rumors.

Did the movie give me what I was looking for? Well, no. What I got was an documentary that couldn't decide if it wanted to be about Woody Allen the man or about Woody Allen the clarinet player. Had it stuck with one or the other, it would have been a great documentary. As it is, it's just okay. If I wasn't such a fan of Woody Allen, the movie would have been near-unbearable.

As a showcase for a jazz band, the movie is pretty incomplete. Save for their time on stage and a little bit of back stage bantering, the band itself is left pretty much alone. Only Woody Allen gets any spotlight here, and it's a shame because some of the band members looked interesting enough to know better.

The band plays well. There are a good number of performances in the movie, all of them inspired and showing the players musicianship and love of the music. Allen especially plays a mean clarinet, and he really gets into it, with his eyes closed shut and his head swaying to the tempo. Quite joyous to watch, I must say.

The problem is that every time you get involved with the tour, Kopple changes direction on you and places the focus on Woody Allen, the man. What's wrong with this is that Allen seems too aware that there's a camera on him. He rattles off one-liners and grumbles on and on about all sorts of things, a lot of it very funny, but it all seems a little staged, like he feels obligated to perform for us.

The fault here is that it offers us, the audience, very little insight into Allen as a person. In fact, the only true part of him that comes through is that he is a crotchety, neurotic old man. In fact, he is much more crotchety than I assumed him to be. There is barely a moment where he isn't crotchety. He bitches about everything: the size of his hotel rooms, the number of people around him, the gifts he received from public officials, possible impending illnesses, his lack of privacy. Of course, it's to my luck that many of his complaints are done in great wit (My favorites lines of his: he introduces Soon-Yi by saying, 'And this is the infamous Soon-Yi Previn.' Also, when a show gets a lackluster response in London, he tells the financial backers of the show: 'I decided to cut the show short. You don't mind, do you'?), but I did wish to see more than just one side of Allen.

As for Soon-Yi Previn, I can say even less. She comes across more like a lifeless version of Mia Farrow than anyone else. She rattles off much supportive words and manages to act unaffected by Allen's complaining, but other than that, she is a blank, and to be honest, I can't see anything in her that Allen would find intellectually stimulating. (Her best line: 'Good shower, isn't it'? To this, Allen responds: 'Yes, great pressure.')

But I don't mean to judge either of them. Woody Allen is one of my favorite filmmakers, and the last thing I want to do is pry into or criticize his life. I just wanted a deeper understanding of him - as if it were my business - and the movie didn't deliver on that chance.

The only things I learned about Woody Allen from this movie were: (1) Europeans love Woody Allen a hundred times more than Americans do. To quote another review I read: Europeans 'come out in droves to listen to his band and just catch a glimpse of him as though he were Leonardo DiCaprio running down a nude beach.' (See the movie and you'll see what I mean.) (2) Woody Allen is a crotchety old man who plays a good clarinet. (3) That if you don't like Woody Allen or his movies, you'll probably hate this movie. (4) That he stayed in some beautiful, grandiose hotel rooms while on his tour.

Other than that, he's left as a mystery to me. My view of him remains pretty much the same, and I can say that I'm still a rabid fan of his, and I wait eagerly for November to arrive, so I can have the privilege of seeing his new film, Celebrity.

Eyal Goldshmid
I am a fiction writer supporting myself as a government clerk for the US army. Until I can fully live off writing, I plan to milk all the luxury I can from the American taxpayer.